on Monday, November 9, 2009 , 4:08 PM
I felt like a housewife today. Did alot of chores! On one part, I'm happy doing it, bcoz there's a feeling of satisfaction that i am helping my mum, something that i dun always do -I know, I'm a bad daughter! - on the other part, I only wish things would return back to normal at home and within me. Somehow some things dun seem rite. They say absence make the heart grow fonder but sometimes God's light seems to you like total darkness, to me that is. Suddenly i feel the need to talk to my Aunt, but somehow, things arnd her dun seem rite too. Guess life's like that. I'm on my own now, just like how Ms Ong puts it.

I can't wait to get 'O's over and done with but on the other hand I'm scared for the results, which is why i told myself that I'll look up at some poly courses over the hols. My cuz is helping me on that. Thk god! Nonetheless, the dream to wear those white and blue uniform is still there, each day growing smaller and smaller. We'll see how things goes and if i really am capable enough to enter that sch or my passion for dance wld just have to vanish after sec sch which is definitely not something i want! I'm not giving up even before my papers end but somehow, I'm not so optimistic this time. Somehow the optimism has died after the countless disappointments.

Anyways, it had been a very hectic weekend and things at home seem to be getting better. I guess this is a learning point for each and everyone of us at home and maybe even a chance for me to understand my dad better. I guess I'll never fully understand adults till i become one someday but till then i just gotta learn how to give in and be more understanding especially at home, which I'm improving at but i just gotta improve more on. It had been a long time since i last saw my cousins and I'm happy that i finally saw all of them yday despite the midst of exams for some of us. Though all of us were laughing and smiling, I could tell that they were all fake and there's just somethings going on in each and everyone of our lives at this point of time. Somehow i dun understand why and somehow i just feel as though I'm thinking too much but seriously, the heart never lies. But there's just seomthing about the heart tht i dun understand. Have i grown stupider? Haha. Wadeva!

That's about it, gotta get back to physics. I dun think I have the mood for e date with Durgs tmr but I have promised her and she's coming for me so i dun wanna disappoint her. That's it then. Update soon when everything is better.

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